A mini rant

Am I the only one who hates idle pointless conversation? Yesterday while I was checking out at the grocery store the clerk struck up a conversation. She mentioned the book I bought was really good (Revolutionary Road for anyone who cares). I told her I had wanted to read the book before I watch the movie and we both agreed that books are usually better than movies. Than she asks if I am Dan ______ ‘s sister. I said, yes I am. She then tells me how she went to high school with him and I went to school with her sister. In my mind, I am thinking, wow freaking do. Were you friends with my brother? No. I was slight friends with her sister but we have not talked since high school. I guess this is where I come off as a bitch/ not nice person. But really, I don’t know what to say when people bring this random connection up to me. Like, oh how nice, or what is appropriate? I hate these types of conversations, which is generally why I avoid all people from high school when I see them out in public. We have nothing in common anymore. We do not speak. We rarely spoke in high school. No need to get all reminiscent over a past that wasn’t so cheery. I have no idea what to say to them. Surely I cannot be the only one who feels like this??

Then the other day my friend’s mother-in-law was driving me bonkers. She kept bringing up how much time she had spent in the hospital with people recently. Finally, I said, “You know, me too. My grandma passed away last week.” Hoping she would STOP talking about sick people. I am sorry, but I CANNOT handle that right now. I don’t want to hear about how your loved ones are doing fine, while my grandma WAS fine and then she died within 6 days of FALLING DOWN. One of my dad’s great-aunts did the same thing hours after I found out my grandma was going to die. I’m sorry; I don’t want to hear about your “tests.” If you are going to talk about your WELL-BEING please do somewhere away from people who are experiencing the OPPOSITE OF BEING FINE.

I know this kind of snowballed out of the main topic of, pointless conversation, but in I guess the theme could be awkward conversation. I detest awkward conversation. Silence would be preferable than awkward pointless drivel.

Am I the only heartless one or does someone else feel the same? I mean I am all about random conversations and talking to random strangers, but people you sorta kinda knew once upon a time, but not really? No thank you!

Wordless Wednesday..

Teaser Tuesday: On Chesil Beach

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading
Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

1. Grab your current read
2. Open to a random page
3. Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
4. Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

They were young, educated, and both virgins on this, their wedding night,
and they lived in a time when conversation about sexual difficulties was plainly
impossible. But it is never easy. pg.3, "On Chesil
Beach," by Ian McEwan

Some random knowledge about me..

My mind is not capable of focusing quite yet to read much or to type more about the situations that have come to be since last week. So for your stalking pleasure, here is more information about me!

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? on my knee there is a raised bump from where I cut it on a piece of shale while swimming in the lake in our backyard growing up.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? a poem written about my great-grandma after she had passed, some photos of my husband and his parents and a picture of my husband and I

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? i've started to clench my jaw

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? pretty much everything

5. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? yup.

6. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? depends on the weather and time of day, but i do love my coffee and my monster's

7. FAVORITE QUOTE? Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel always. Be you, and be okay with it.” -Hollie Seals

8. FAVORITE PLACE? sandy beaches

9. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? it's terrible

10. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? this is one of the biggest dilemmas of my eating life. i love homemade mac and cheese or velvetta shells and i could eat potatoes all day everyday

11. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? dem

12. KISSES OR HUGS?hugs

13. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? about to start reading some of On Chesil Beach because I have misplaced Pride & Prejudice. it is either still in Ohio or in the hubby's car

The longest week

This last week has been one of the longest weeks of my life. My grandma fell two Wednesday's ago at Bob Evans after eating dinner there with my grandfather. He fell while trying to help her up. When she fell, she broke her wrist, which was evident immediately. She went to the hospital and they admitted her that night and she had surgery Thursday morning on her wrist. The whole time she kept saying her hip hurt her more than her wrist. They did an x-ray Thursday and said nothing looked broken. She could come home Friday if she could walk on her hip. Friday she could not stand on it and they took an MRI. It was broken. They told her they would have surgery on it over the weekend and that she might have to go to a nursing home for awhile to complete some rehab. She refused. Her neice called my dad and said that grandma was being uncooperative. He had my mom pack a bag and he headed down there that night. The next morning when he took my grandpa to the hospital to see her they had already taken her back to surgery. She had a partial hip replacement. She came out of surgery with a fever and sometime that afternoon they think she had a heart attack. My cousin came from across the state and took my grandpa home that night and my dad spent the night at the hospital. Her heart stopped twice and they performed CPR on her the first time breaking some ribs. The second time they used medicine to get it to start. At 6 am he called my mom and said that he didn't think my grandma was going to make it through the day. At 7:50 my mom called to tell me that. At 10:30 she asked if I would go with her. By noon we were on the road.



When we got there around 4pm, she had just started responding to touch and would nod to answer questions. She had not been able to do that earlier in the day. At this point we were informed that her kidneys were not functioning and grandma refused dialysis. She was on a respirator and had a breathing tube down her throat. My dad's sister spent the night at the hospital with her that night. Monday she seemed a lot more responsive and nodding and trying to talk to us through the breathing tube. We found out her liver enzymes were up and she continued to refuse dialysis. Honestly, she seemed to be doing better and they tried a feeding tube and medicine to get her kidney's working. No one spent the night because it kinda seemed like she was doing better and the respirator wasn't doing all of her breathing for her.



Tuesday we walked in and the nurses met with my grandpa, dad and aunt in my grandma's room. They said they had already discussed this with grandma but wanted them to hear it too. Since my grandma was refusing dialysis there really wasn't anything they could do for her. They were going to remove her from all machines and make her comfortable. They took her off the respirator around 11:30. Around noon, grandma was well aware of us in her room and we all went in and talked to her. I told her I loved her and kissed her shoulder. She was crying. That was the last time I talked to her. I went in and out of her room all afternoon. Sometimes it was harder than others to watch her. She struggled a lot in pain the early hours of the afternoon and then they upped the pain medication and she rested peacefully. At around 7:30 I went into her room and sat with her, my dad, my oldest cousin, my dad's sister and her husband. Around 9:30 my brother and husband arrived. Her breathing almost immediately started slowing way down. Around 10:30 we knew it would not be long. At 10:54 p.m. on July 21st I watched my dear sweet 83 year old grandma take her last breath.



There is a lot of regret, guilt, sadness and anger that I haven't yet processed. But I do know that I will miss her more than I ever expected possible.

quick update

My grandma is gravely ill, on a respirator out of state. I am headed there now for an indefinite time period. Just wanted to let you know. Keep her and my dad in your thoughts please.

Busy Friday's

It seems the last two weeks I put a full week's worth of activity into my Friday's. Yesterday included a 3 hour meeting where I spent the majority of the time wanting to bang my head on the table. I do not get how some people can be so incapable of following simple directions. Or how rude they can be to people while presenting. Sit still, shut up, ask questions when appropraite and we can get out of the place fast. But noooo. And THESE PEOPLE ARE EDUCATORS. I tend to find any meeting with people from my field tends to make me a bit irritated.

I also had a ton of errands to run. The older sis-and-bro in-law have been in town this last week and today we are having a baby shower for them. I had to pick up the stuff to make the scrumptious oreo dessert that I was making, pick up the last part of the baby gift that the younger sis-in-law and I were giving them, and then as a nice gesture stop and pick up the bro-in-law's prescription. Yeah, sounds easy, but that took 4 stops, 1 trip home, one fill up of the gas tank and about 2 hours. The bro-in-law forgot there are two Walgreen's in town or did not know since they haven't lived here in awhile. I went to both yesterday. :)

I hurried and made my dessert which I hope turned out okay because I wasn't paying attention and know I made a boo-boo making it, but I am hoping it turned out fine. Then I headed to the church to meet up with the sis-in-law's and the mother-in-law to exchange stuff and set some stuff up. But I did not help much cuz I got to hold a baaaby. Love. :)

Next up, hurry home for a pick up from cousin-in-law to go run erands and hit up a softball tourney. Had fun there with friends, hurried up north to the in-laws to hang out with the fam and got home after midnight. I am pooped.

Today is just as busy because it is the last day to hang out before they head back out West. Can't wait for my neice or nephew to show up in December!!

Booking through Thursday

Follow-up to last week’s question:
Do you keep all your unread books together, like books in a waiting room? Or are they scattered throughout your shelves, mingling like party-goers waiting for the host to come along?

My unread books are spread throughout the house. There are a bunch of older books from my grandma in the bookcase in the living room. There are random books collected from many resources in the other two book shelves in the office. There is one next to my bed, which has been there since last May. There is a large bag in the living room from my grandma and another large bag from the library in the living room. I have a lot of books to-read, yet always seem to go out looking for new books when I need one. Check out other answers here.

All We Ever Wanted Was Everything - Janelle Brown

This book is about a family whose entire way of life is being pulled apart at the seams during one summer. The dad, Paul Miller, is a CEO of a pharamaceutical company that has just gone public and now he/they are IPO millionaires. The day this happens, his wife Janice awakens alone in bed and is thrilled that now there is no worries about money forever and ever. She makes a mental list of how to procede through the day, ending with a huge celebration. Her day is quickly jolted when her tennis partner and best-friend does not show up for their tennis match. This throws her whole day off and by the time she is home and in the middle of preparing her feast, she recieves a Fed Ex message from her husband. He wants to end their marriage and has run off with her tennis partner. Janice is in denial and this is when the book begins to get interesting. Especially when another messsage comes that says, Janice signed papers that excludes her from the new fortune her husband's company has come into.

Janice and Paul have two daughters, Margaret, 28, a brainy feminist who is still trying to not "sell out" in LA and in tremendous debt; Lizzie 14, a little silly, a lot immature who has just lost a significant amount of weight and learned how to get the boys to like her. After Paul leaves, Lizzie calls her big sis to come and save the day and Margaret jumps at the chance to escape the credit card companies, collection agencies and the fact that she is losing her apartment push her towards selling her measly posessions and heading home.

When the three Miller women are under one roof it is chaotic. Janice and Margaret do NOT get along. Lizzie has no friends and oddly turns to an evangelical church because of the promise that God loves everyone. Maragret gets stoned and connects with the pool boy. Janice picks up a not so good habit and somehow they do not kill each other.

At some points this book was really good and some points it was so not believable, but it all flowed together. I did NOT like how some parts of the story were wrapped up neatly. Yet almost all of the conversation that happened between the characters in the book was hilarious. Especially when Lizzie is going around talking about God loving everyone. I think it could have used one more chapter to wrap it up because it leaves you hanging at the end to figure out on your own how it ended, but I kinda wanted them to have their day in court or a settlement made with Paul. Paul needs a slap in the face, I would not want him as a father!

And add in the fact that they were all obsessed with money, having it, not having it, flaunting it, worrying about the neighbors, it was quite the entertaining read with a significant amount of eye rolls at the actions of the characters.

Lame Tuesday

I feel bad because I have had a lack of reading posts or reading anything to update in the last two weeks. Leading up to the 4th, I read a ton that week and had a lot to say and then the last week or so I either am "too busy" or forget to read.

I really am reading a really good book that once I settle in with it, I just inhale it. Yes, I am still reading All we Ever Wanted was Everything by Janelle Brown. I reaaaallly want to finish it soon because a couple of my friends are both reading Pride & Prejudice and I think it would be kind of neat to be able to discuss it with them. Sadly, that is not one of the many books I have on loan from the library, which means I will most likely have to recheck out the ones I did get all those many weeks ago. Though, I do have another Austen novel. Mansfield Park, that I want to read but after Pride & Prejudice. I've never watched any of the movie adaptations of her stuff because I've always wanted to read them first, so that can be another challenge to myself.

Let me tell ya, continually job searching and continually finding nothing or something not really using your degree gets to be tiring. Thank goodness for random blog reading!

Yesterday

Yesterday was an awesome day. I had a garage sale and my friend helped me out. It was a great day to hang out with a friend, weather wise and mood wise. We laughed soo hard and had so many misadventures. The first thing to note is that neither of us is creative. We both would love to be, but we just are not. We would like to be neat and have nice handwriting, but we don't. Thursday night we got together and made signs for the sale and then decided that we would try to post the signs on MAIN roads at 11pm because we did not want anyone to see us post these "glitter filled signs." Um, yes we put glitter on our garage sale signs and we are closer to 30 than 20.

Friday morning, I FORGOT TO SET MY ALARM. But have no fear, I woke up at 7:30 with a smile on my face thinking, ahhh I can sleep in. And then I popped my eyes back open and said, "HOLY FASFA**SFDS8******!!" Jumped out and raced around getting around. Threw stuff out and then my friend arrived a little after 8 with bagels. YAY. We finished putting stuff out and had the task of putting the sign out in front of the house and at the one corner by my house. So we find some old stakes and think this will work.. Need hammer. No hammer to be found. I find a book about Pat Nixon. Looks sturdy enough. We take this out to the road, sign, stakes, Pat Nixon. We try pounding with Pat Nixon. Does not work. I go look for hammer again. No hammer. I grab an ax. An ax that is about as tall as me. We are standing at the end of my driveway with an ax, trying to hammer a sign in. Stakes fall apart. We abandon sign. We find smaller stakes attach sign and head off towards corner. Half way to corner we realize people are arriving at our garage sale, I run down the road in my flip flops, cut across the lawn and arrive as they walk up, completely out of breath. Friend is at corner pounding away at the sign with a smaller ax we found. People leave, don't buy anything, friend comes back, sign has fallen down already. I find a tub to lean sign against. I blow up balloons, attach them to mailbox. Friend goes back to corner and attachs sign to telephone pole. We sit down and laugh hysterically at ourselves.

Then two guys showed up in a BRIGHT yellow truck with flames on the side. They had cowboy hats on and vests with no shirts underneath. I wished I could just say, um you don't have to stop you will find nothing here. But I don't and they don't even get two feet into sale before they are headed back towards bright yellow truck with flames. I may have had a good hardy laugh at their vehicle. And the rest of the afternoon pretty muched followed the ridiculousness of this beginning part. All of that happened yesterday before 10:30 am.

After a long day, the hub and I headed up to my parents house because they are out of town and we felt like swimming and hanging out on the dock. We stopped for dinner on the way up and by the time we got dinner and were on the dock, my toes told me the water was too cold. So we ate dinner in our swimsuits, went inside and spent the night watching tv on my parent's HD tv and listening to the police monitor. Then we passed out in my old childhood room and came home this morning for coffee and eggs prepared by the mister.

All in all, a TERRIFIC day/morning so far.

7 personality traits meme

I was awarded this award from Lisa , where I must list 7 traits about myself and pass it along to 7 other bloggers whose personality shines through on their blog.

I've been trying to think up some good ones, so here goes...

1. I am completely lazy. This I think also ties into my addiction to the computer. Since I am not working I can literally sit at the computer all day and not do anything. Which is bad because it's beauitful outside and I should go out there.

2. I would rather stay inside at my computer and get fat than go running in my neighborhood. I have some wierd issue with going out in my neighborhood. I think this has something to do with the fact that I am insecure and slightly scared by the fact that we have HUGE ditches and people I don't know around here and what if one of them kidnapped me? Yeah unrealistic but I mean, it's me!

3. If you get me near a body of water I will stay there all day. Honestly, I love water. I grew up on it, and would spend all day every day floating/drinking/hanging out with friends on water. Someday I want to live on a lake and someday rent a huge house on the east coast for a vacay on the ocean.

4. I want/need ice cream every day. No matter the temperature or time of the year. After dinner I want ice cream!! I kind of introduced my hubby to this problem and sometimes he gets worse than I do.

5. Sometimes books affect me so much that I can't start reading another one for like a month or a week in between. Some are just such fun reads that I can read 3 a week. Twilight had this affect on me. I couldn't find anything else as addicting to read for quite awhile. No, I do not think they were the BEST books ever written but they were super addicting and made me fall in love with Edward. I will not watch the movies because THAT Edward is so ugly I can't handle it.

6. I like being alone, but love going out with friends. I would much rather sit by myself at home and putzing around than hang out with someone just to hang out with them and be with someone. Some people would think I go insane with boredom not working and sitting at home all day every day. Not so, I amuse myself. That DOES not mean that my house is spotless because I am of the feeling that two of us live here and just because I do not work, does NOT mean that I will pick up an adult's mess they made themselves. I am not a maid.

7. I am very outspoken. To the point where I should just keep my mouth shut. But, I can't. It just comes out. I hate when people sit around not saying what they want to say. Say it. It's better than saying it behind people's backs!

Now for my picks...

1. My Aimless Thoughts

2. Alabama Bookworm

3. The Tale of Two Coins

4. Sally's Circle

5. Smile-Pretty

6. The Sight of the Star's Makes me Dream

7. Futureless Girl

Wordless Wednesday..

Teaser Tuesday

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading

Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
  BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

She crumples the note in her fist, stuffs it in her purse, and unlocks the door. All she can think of is her bed: If she can just go to sleep now, maybe in the morning everything will be better.

From All We Ever Wanted was Everything by Janelle Brown

2009 A-Z Reading Challenge Update

I PROMISE this is the last list for awhile! Since we have reached the mid-point of the year, I thought I'd post my status for my A-Z challenge!

A – PS I love you – Cecilia Ahearn
B – Midwives – Chris Bohjalian
C- The Hours - Michael Cunningham
D – Hot and Bothered: a novel – Annie Downey
E – The 19th Wife – David Ebershoff
F - Finger Lickin' Fifteen - Janet Evanovich
G –
H-
I –
J – Escape – Carolyn Jessop
K –
L – The Mating Rituals of the North American WASP – Lauren Lipton
M – Monster- Walter Dean Myers
N –
O – Blonde – Joyce Carol Oates
P – Mercy – Jodi Picoult
Q –
R –
S – American Wife – Curtis Sittenfield
T –
U –
V -
W –
X
Y
Z

A –
B – The Boleyn Inheritance – Philippa Gregory
C-
D –
E – Eclipse – Stephenie Meyer
f – The Female of the Species – Joyce Carol Oates
G –
H- Harvesting the Heart – Jodi Picoult
I –
J –
K –
L –
M – The Midwife’s Tale – Gretchen Moran Laskas
N –New Moon, Stephanie Meyer
O -
P –
Q –
R – Rattled! – Christine Coppa
S –
T – Twilight – Stephanie Meyer
U –
V -
W – Wives and Sisters –Natalie Collins
X
Y
Z

I am most definitely going to need to read some books with challenge in mind soon or I won't be able to finish!!

Books read in June

17. The Mating Rituals of the North American WASP – Lauren Lipton (Hilarious, would recommend it)
18. Hot and Bothered: a novel – Annie Downey (also funny would recommend..)
19. The 19th Wife – David Ebershoff (very intriguing, would recommend..)
20. Midwives – Chris Bohjalian (excellently written.. would recommend...)
21. Escape – Carolyn Jessop (intereesting prospective.. would recommend..)
22. The Midwife’s Tale – Gretchen Moran Laskas ( was not a fan..)
23. Finger Lickin’ Fifteen – Janet Evanovich (HILARIOUS... I love this series and after reading this last night I am contemplating re-reading some of them..i wish she had a new book once a month!)

This was a really great reading month and it helped move me along a little towards my goal, but I have a lot of catching up to make it even to where I was last year!